Compassion, Empathy, and Understanding for Those Who Have Experienced Suicide Touching Their Lives

 This morning I had a flood of thoughts enter my mind. For me personally, I know this is revelation and that I need to share these thoughts. I have not blogged in such a long time. It has been so long that I can't get into my old blog, nor can I find it online. So, I am essentially starting over.  Here in Utah and in the western US, we all experienced some tumultuous winds (a "land hurricane," some have called it) earlier this week. Our earth is reeling and there are countless blessing and problems happening simultaneously. It truly is "the best of times and the worst of times." 

One of my dear sisters in Christ has experienced some of the worst pain imaginable this week. Not only did she have this storm to deal with, she lost her husband to suicide. Carrie, I hope that you know that I write these words in pure sincerity because of my own experiences dealing with suicide this year. My heart has cried out for you and I have pondered this ever since I found out from your facebook post earlier this week. 

I have to pause and say that Carrie's family crossed paths with mine when we were moving away from Layton, and she was moving into my ward. I instantly knew there was a special family entering our ward. I was sad that I wouldn't be able to get to know them better. I had the privilege to help Carrie watch her young children as she busily dealt with moving and her husband's health needs. He had recently had a surgery. 

Scott did not know us personally, but he was one of the first to come to our aid and help us with our move the day we moved out. I remember his presence well, so full of love and kindness. He was good. He IS GOOD.  "How can it be that such a good person is battling this demon (this inner turmoil)," we all think. 

I know that just as these tumultuous times are making our earth reel, there are unseen trials that are making our individual hearts reel. We need each other in ways that we have never needed each other before. The hard part is cracking the barriers we have all been taught to build over our life times. 

I KNOW that our all merciful, all knowing Father in Heaven knows every part of us. I know that His Son, even Jesus Christ, will be able to judge us with the mercy, compassion, and understanding that we each so desperately need. I know this because I have lived it, and experienced it for myself. 

I lost my uncle to suicide in December. No one, not one of his family members, saw it coming. We all wish we could have hit pause on the time button and saved him from his agony. But it was not our place to do so. He was already given His Savior. I know that He has returned home to a loving Father in Heaven. 

We are all touched by this. The pandemic has isolated all of us, but those who already have been in isolation in their hearts for so long are literally aching and crying inside their souls. I pray that I, and you, will be prayerful about the ways we can go to the rescue for our family and friends. I am going to be so bold as to invite anyone in my circle who is dealing with these feelings to please be brave enough to come to me. I will not know how to heal your wounds, but I will listen and I will love. 

Carrie, you will be sitting at your husband's funeral in one hour. I wanted so desperately to be there physically to come and share my heart with you today. I can't get there in time. I want you to know that my heart is with you and your young family. May this be something you can put in the journals for your children. I know you desired to share with them about their dad. I want them to know that he served me in a time of need, and he didn't know me. He prioritized me, someone he didn't even know, before anything else he could have been doing on a Saturday morning. That is LOVE, He is Love. 

My prayers are with all of those who are dealing with this great loss, the loss of a loved one to suicide. 

I know that we as those who mourn them can find ourselves at home with Christ. I know they, our loved ones, are truly at home. They are where they have been yearning for all along...

As some have chosen not to stay in their temporary homes in this world, may others choose to stay with those who love them dearly.

Love, Sarah

                       Song

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - 1807-1882

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Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;
Home-keeping hearts are happiest,
For those that wander they know not where
Are full of trouble and full of care;
       To stay at home is best.

Weary and homesick and distressed,
They wander east, they wander west,
And are baffled and beaten and blown about
By the winds of the wilderness of doubt;
       To stay at home is best.

Then stay at home, my heart, and rest;
The bird is safest in its nest;
O’er all that flutter their wings and fly
A hawk is hovering in the sky;
       To stay at home is best.